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existing's tricky:but to live's a gift

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“Talking with my sister”

Sister chat. COMING SOON.

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Is it even a #homeyogapractice if you aren’t cramming your mat into the chaos of day-to-day life, being climbed upon by your toddler, stepping on some impossibly sharp toy, being interrupted every three minutes and having to break off to address a small domestic emergency at least three times in one session?? Seriously though, this is probably one of the main things keeping me sane right now. Thanks to everyone who reached out to me after my last post 💛 💫 I haven’t replied yet because I’ve been busy just trying to keep my head above water, but so glad for your love and encouragement and support. (P.S. I realise now that post was unclear: it was K not O who was injured.) #doctorswhodoyoga #yogawithadriene #doctorswhowrite #physicianburnout #mamasinmedicine #attendinglife #medreglife #doctorburnout

Sunday was Mother’s Day in New Zealand. We woke up to another perfectly blueskied day. A heart-shaped pink-iced biscuit with rainbow sprinkles, a sweet poem and daycare art. We decided on an impulse to take the ferry to Waiheke, the little island just off Auckland where we got married just over a year ago, and the crossing was splendid: blue on blue, sky on sea, the white churn of the water, impossibly still. O sat in the driver’s seat of our parked car and pushed and pulled all the buttons, giddy with excitement. We decided to drive out to a part of the island we had never visited before, to go walk in Whakanewha Regional Park, planned to follow it up with a meal out, our first in a long time. We walked up through a Niikau grove, otherworldly, climbed alongside fairy falls, and finally, after such a difficult past few weeks with work and illness, and such a glorious day out in the Hunua Ranges the day before, I felt myself begin to relax. As we chatted about what we might have to eat, K stumbled all of a sudden, out of nowhere, and with O in the carrier he came heavily crashing down, breaking his foot, and just like that everything changed. We are still uncertain of the severity of his injury, waiting on results of scans, but the jolt back from that brief brief respite has been hard to take. I think I’m generally pretty good at finding little pockets of goodness, laughter and beauty and lightheartedness and love, enough to keep me happy even when things are hard, and I’m holding onto all of these now more than ever, but I’ve cried every day since this happened, and I hate crying. The reality is that everything is just really hard. Being a mother is really hard and training as a doctor is really hard and being on the other side of the world from your family and best friends is really hard, and all of these things all together and anything else on top is hard, and this, now this. But it was a beautiful Mother’s Day until that moment.

Hunua Ranges, Cossey Massey Loop. #hunuafalls Best way to spend a beautiful crisp blueskied autumn day. We found a tiny bird’s nest, spotted a huge sleeping kererū, and watched fantails dance above the reservoir. O chattered and sang non-stop until he fell asleep, waking just as we reached the car. The light was low and rich and the air damp along the river. And the green! We drove home into a deep orange sunset that gave way to dark, twisting and turning under a perfect crescent moon. #motherhoodoutdoors #babywearingmama

Would love to hear from anyone attempting similar! Follow along and say hi 💙 Video from a weekend walk at #karamaturafalls ✨ #writersofinstagram #medreglife #mothersinmedicine #motherhoodmyway #doctorswhowrite #momsinmedicine

May. Extra tired tonight on day ten of twelve and after terrible sleep for the last two nights. But just did some yoga and it was exactly what my body needed. One step at a time. Hanging in there. Artwork by my sister 🎨💛☕️

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